Cheney and the Killing Joke

After seven plus year, it was a deeply repugnant thought to Cheney that the Democrat party would have control of both the legislative and executive branches. He had a deep need for a lame-duck vice presidential dirty trick; he was beginning to consider his personal nuclear option. Cheney had discovered this particular weapon when prowling on the dark side had led him to the deeply buried secret of the Killing Joke Project.

He had read with greedy relish the classified case history of early Cold War research prompted by intel that the Soviets were pursuing clairvoyance and other paranormal possibilities. In those days the U.S. would never allow the Reds to catch us flatfooted thought Cheney as his upper lip curled in admiration. It was ironic that a minimally funded side project studying the hypothesis of a “killing joke” was the only remaining unclosed case. He incessantly drew his hand back over his bald head as he read on to find that the project had actually been successful.

"Hot damn!" He sub-vocalized. He watched the old black-and-white films of the original humorist expiring over his own joke as well as several unsuspecting colleagues who, happening upon the tragic scene, examined the joke and fell victim as well. Much effort had been put into how the joke might be handled, but it became evident that it could not even be translated in order to target foreign enemies. After several more deaths, project managers decided to classify it “Top Secret Crypto” and “Black Archive” it.

Cheney now had it in his safe and was warming to an idea he had had since he first commandeered the brown box containing a single sheet of paper with seven words ending in a question mark.